Category: Let's talk
Have you been in this situation? what do you do?
You are at a restaurant or a cafe. and you buy this and that, okay so the person tells you that this is this price and you know it's a higher price then they list. This is a place you feel really at home and welcoming, people are really nice, and they are very helpful, and/or you have been to this place a lot and know them well too. You can afford the full price and you'd feel guilt for paying less what do you do? pay them anyway? argue with them? slip the extra bills somewhere? insist on it? slip it to someone else? what? and, also, what if they refuse your tip? they blank out will not take it? gives the money back? what do you do in this situation?
Pay the full price. If they won't take it, then I'll leave a big ginormous tip.
Hmm, interesting question.
I'll be perfectly honest: I know people on here talk about being most outspoken about getting the situation right. Me? I'd try and make it right, but if they refused, I'd slip it to someone who would take it - one of there employees. There's always someone you can slip it to. Guess I'm not much of a scene maker, unless something really jerks my chain. In that situation, I could care less how they felt about the blind or charity or whatever, I would only be concerned about financially making it right.
Hmmm. I've never been in this sort of situation. But I'd definitely spend the money due to the business in the way of a tip or something similar.
the problem is what is they refuse to take tips point blank? so you can't make it up that way too and you keep insisting and they keep saying no.
as was said, find another employee who will take the money. if the situation really yanks your chain bad enough to make you question ever going there again, listen to that. the way I see it is, if someone doesn't want your business, and can't be bothered to at least understand where you're coming from, why would you wanna give them the time of day?
We as blind people are quick to assume that people are feeling sorry for us when they extend a kindness like this. This may or may not be true in all situations.
You say you go to this place all the time. You like the people, and the service, and food. Is it not so difficult to except that the same is true from the other side?
You are a loyal customer, a likable person, so why not except the kindness?
Even if it is charity, they can afford it or they wouldn’t offer it. Next it makes them feel good to do something for someone, so why not allow it and say thank you?
Don’t slip the money to any one, because you are making it hard on them to be nice to you and that isn’t fair if you think about it.
You go to this place all the time they will just think of another way to show you kindness, so don’t make them work at it. Would you stop going if they decided to instruct all employees and themselves to flat refuse your money? Smile.
If you must do something with the money give it to the next street person you see, or donate it to a cause you think could use it. Pass the love along.
I would ask them why they were trying to sell it at that price, first to make sure they weren't making some sort of error. Asking the simple question of why is what gets people to think, and it forces them to say their reasoning. If it's because they feel bad because you are blind or what have you, give them a reason to think otherwise. Obviously you can't have a ten minute conversation with them as they will be working and you are not the only customer, but perhaps ask them another question such as, you wouldn't do this for another customer would you? Or, how would you feel if someone did that to you? Unlike most who have posted so far, I have been in that situation. Someone tried giving me a free dinner at a restaurant. I didn't know the guy, and I never went to his restaurant before. I asked him why and he told me that it is a reward for being so amazing. I asked him what was so amazing about me. He said the fact that I am blind and yet not afraid of doing things for myself. Then I looked at him and said I have no other choice. I'm human like every one else and I want to be treated the same. Though you are a nice guy, I can't accept this. I'd like to show my appreciation for such a clean restaurant and good customer service for paying for the meal and leaving a tip, just as any of your other customers were, and he said ok.
He ghad no choice. In this case the poster goes to this place all the time.
I really appriciate blind people not using people, but sometimes I think we allow our price to get in the way.
We have to face facts. People are going to want to help us from time to time.
I have notice blind people refusing help and getting totally lost or something because of pride. We make people struggle sometimes and I think that is unfair, and makes people stand off, because they don't know how to react to us.
They see us crossing a street when the light has changed and they just don't know what to do. If it were someone else they holler a warning.
helping is very different than charging someone less, in my opinion. cause, whether or not you wanna believe it, Ryan is right. most likely, they wouldn't do such things for sighted people, so it isn't right to allow it to be done to us.
I, too, have been in similar situations, and handled it the same way Ryan did. you know what? the person came away educated, and thanked me for setting the standard of treating everyone equally.
Can you ellaborate on what you mean by saying we shouldn't let our price get in the way?
oh, something I meant to say earlier, is that I don't feel this way cause I'm too proud to accept help, kindness, or what have you. I know when I need help, and when it's appropriate to accept kind gestures.
Never had any of this, but random people at restaurants and bars have offered to cover my tab. I'm not gonna say no to that. And no, I don't feel guilty about it.
Wayne's got some valid points. When I was running stores we had this situation happen with groups of people. They would buy nine drinks and be elligible for the 10th one free. Then they thought we were giving it to them because they were a chick, or a senior citizen, or black or something. Good points there Wayne. I've been on the opposite side of the situation, and from a business owner's perspective it's called customer appreciation, and it does yield profits. Because that person is likely to run their mouth to their friends about your place and you're likely to get more people. You just have to do it judiciously and make sure to not break the bank. Best way I found to not break the bank was a punch card system, and the rare and occasional discount on the exceptional or valued customer.
I would for sure find a way to pay them. I would tell them that they are fellow workers and that I do not believe an anyone working for free for me, its against my union values.
well, true, some of you have some valid points and such, and thanks for that thanks for your two sense union girl but I have got to ask this just an urge, do you have any other values except your union ones?
Yeah, American values like patriotism.
I'd say it's up to whoever gets in this type of situation to make the best judgment call. I get where you're coming from, leo, but from what I've experienced, and heard numerous friends say, employees who do this sort of thing aren't often doing it as a token of appreciation.
They may have good intentions, and may think it is a nice thing to do, but it isn't. Remember, if you weren't blind, you would be another customer, and the person wouldn't even consider doing such a thing.
But that is exactly what I mean by pride. "if you weren't blind a person wouldn't even do this"
Yes. It gets done all the time. Women benefit, because men pick up the tab. Seniors get discounts, because they are seniors. Children eat for less, because they are children. Loyal customers get discounts, because as Leo pointed out the might bring others.
When I use my Starbucks card 12 times I get a free drink.
Pride in this case means, you are over using your I'm just like everyone else in situations were people are simply wishing to be kind.
If you were a rich person would you feel you should be charged more because you can afford it? Don't give me any breaks, because I'm rich?
Sometimes price is a valaid thing, but over pride gets boring and counter productive.
I promise you, blindness isn't going to get you offers like this everyday, so when you do receive one simply be gracious and don't make people struggle about it.
We as people, not blind people, except discounts all the time on goods and services, so why sweat this one?
Because it doesn't get you much farther. One free meal out of the thousands of meals you eat in your life. Call me weird, but there's something I love about working and earning the things that I receive, rather than sitting on my ass and letting everything be handed to me. This was not always the case, but after a while I became bored, and I realized just how much more there was to life than that.
Very well said, forereel. If someone offers to help you or pay for something, just say thank you and move on. No need to make a big freaking deal out of every little thing that comes along... don't know why blind people feel the need to do that all the time. The next time you're around that person do something nice for them to show your appreciation.
You don't know what's in the mind of the store owner who does this. I did it on various random occasions, including just because, to be honest, when I owned businesses.
Everyone earns what they get so the point about feeling good about paying for things doesn't mean anything to me, except in some settings where guys think they ought to pay for it all, and chicks expect it.
It doesn't have to be a big deal unless you make it out to be. Even if I had 20-20 vision, and a person who I never met before offered to give me a free meal in their five star restaurant, I wouldn't feel right accepting the offer. There is always the temptation to go for something that is cheaper or for free, of course. However, it doesn't excuse the fact that people offer us things discounted or for free simply because they would "feel bad for making a blind person, or a person with a disability have to pay." We ask for equal treatment when it comes to several other instances like getting a job, so I don't understand why this would be any different.
I have heard the statement so many times that you stated Runner from blind people.
I don’t think we have actually set down and thought about all the things we receive that are excepted because frankly they make life better and easier without question.
What we fail to understand is others receive just as much or more then we do for different reasons, and they are not blind. These things are blessings, or pribleges, or however you name them that are not given to everyone or every group.
We receive things because we are of a serene age, race, culture, or sex even.
In this case the poster has paid many times and has not ask for anything. It has been given, so why not except it just like all the other things excepted?
There is a major different between saying you deserve a break because you are a poor blind person, and someone offering you something because they understand how it might make your life easier due to you being blind. Where is the shame in that?
I sincerely believe the world would be a much better place if everyone shared the wealth. If you receive things due to you being blind what keeps you from giving things you can give because you are blind?
Must everyone be stingy, because, frankly, I can’t be doing stuff for these people because they really need to be just like me?
I don’t want their nasty dogs in my place of business. I don’t want them to come in here unescorted with these sticks, because they might trip someone. I’m not allowing my waitress to read the menu to them, because they should be able to read it. I’m going to set their food on the table anyplace, because frankly, they can find it and I don’t want them burning themselves on the hot coffee, so I’ll set it down away and not say a thing.
You mean you don’t have cash, and you are using a credit card, but you need me to tell you where to sign? Call the police, so they can explain to this thief he or she needs to get some glasses so she or he can see just like everyone else.
No, I’m not posting braille signs on my bathrooms. If she or she gets it wrong I’m calling the police and having them arrested, because I know he went in the ladies to rape somebody not because he couldn’t read the sign. I just think they need to bring someone to help them, I don’t have time to deal with it. have several types of drinks sir, see my signs?
Do you see my point? We are (not like everyone else)
anyone who knows anything about business and building customer loyalty would understand where leo and forereel are coming from. Stop attributing everything people do or don't do to your blindness because I bet you a majority of the time that has nothing to do with it. Get over yourselves.
guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one...
So if we disagree the next time you go out to eat you will bring someone to read what is offered to you?
Remember, as of now no law says a business owner must help you with the products in a eatery. It is not like a store.
Here is the picture. You go in to Burger King and step up to the counter. The clerk ask may they help you. You ask them could they tell you the specials. They say okay, but let me help these people waiting behind you and I'll get right with you.
You wait and people continue to come in that can simply read the board and say can I get a number 2 or a 5. Sure, I'll take a Coke with that.
This happens each time you go out to eat, and when there is no one in line the wait staff brings you water and comes back to ask you if you are ready to order. You ask the same question, and they say give them a minute and they keep coming back, but only asking you if you are ready to order.
You've not been refused service at any of these places, you just haven't been treated differently.
If you are told what the special is they tell you they only have 1 when in fact they have many.
We agree this is fine behavior right? If you wish to go out for a meal you must bring some sort of device or a friend to help you with the choices, and that is exceptable.
Yes, but what's wrong with being unique.
I should probably mention that my previous post assumes complete foreknowledge that the person offering the discount or service is doing so because you're blind. If, in fact, they're just offering you a discount, service, perk, or free latte because they're awesome or they like your suit or you just fixed their computer, then that's a whole different story entirely.
Unique?
You’d be willing to wait several customers, or not get served at all, because you cannot read the selections because you wish to be unique?
You personally do not except this kindness offered to you when you go out, right?
You are always sure to know what is on the minue, and if not you take someone with you to read it right? Remember, it is not law, but a gift.
Now for the last poster.
In your case you are talking an airline and you, although you fly lots, are not personally known.
By boarding you first the airline is insuring their employees are totally aware of you.
This keeps you on their minds and is supposed to insure you are not lost, or miss your next connecting flight and such things. The reason for this is because if you do they are libel to be sued.
Because they do not know you personally, like this place knows the poster, they have no idea that you are able to get off a plane and let someone know you are needing help to the next flight, or do you not except that either?
Sure, you, if you know there is a person that requires more help should say so, but if you don’t know this why is it a bother?
You personally haven’t sued the airline, and might not if you are lost or something, but others have.
In this case you aren’t receiving anything because you are blind completely, you are receiving the service for more reasons than your blindness.
Why? Because face it, we are not like everyone else.
Also, if another blind person finds about it, then that means they will have to treat all those people in that same manner. Or worse, if a quote on quote normal person finds out, some may not think much of it. While others become irritated and don't see why the blind person should be treated differently. That is unfair, and if anything it could hurt business especially if the wrong people find out about what happened.
As blind people we must be gracious as well. Of course if you know someone requires assistants you say.
I am not suggesting being a pig about it.
Also it is not exactly unfair, because a person that doesn't state they are blind and gets lost or misses a flight or something can not sue later. They get told the airline is sorry, and do they want to book the next flight? They might even have to pay more.
thank you, Tallin32. very well stated.
Yeah, that would be dumb to try and pull with an air line, and unless you did a great job of hiding it I don't kknow how you would get away with not getting any help in the air port.
Also: I frankly don't understand on what grounds anyone could sue an airline for forgetting about you, if you didn't request any help. Is there some tort or something that I haven't heard of that says that, if you have a disability, you have less personal responsibility than if you don't? If you need help, for God's sake speak up. If you don't speak up, it should be assumed that you're OK.
Now, having said that, I nearly missed a connection because of inept "helpers" that were forced upon me by an airline in Houston. In a case like that, I do feel that some compensation is in order, because the responsibility for your making the connection was taken out of your hands. Fortunately, I made my connection, so this point was moot. It did, however, turn me right off of airport assistance—much as the incident where I was hit by a car after accepting help that I didn't really need, all to benefit the next blind person that might need it, turned me right off of that abysmal practice to which the bulk of humanity isn't assumed to be subject.
So in this way, I postulate that we *ARE* like everyone else, in that we're all functioning adults capable of asking for what we need.
Hmm, and if I decided as a store owner not to give a break to a blind person, just because they might get butt hurt and think it was cause they're blind, but they found out, I could get sued over some such problem as was discriminating against the blind, methinks. Some of this is rather silly.
But I do agree about giving extra gratuity to wait staff who takes extra measures like reading things to us, or helping you from the bar to the cigar room, or whatever.
Can't say as I had considered someone's disability status or other thing when giving them a break, as small proprietors will do to customers on occasion.
To poster 37-38, I guess I'm outside of the norm too. And, from experience and other people's word, Houston is a shitty airport in general, difficult to navigate as there is no pattern that easy to follow. It appeared when I was there that the gates and terminals were scattered randomly about. Plus, at the last minute they changed our gate number and we had to run across the airport.
@Leo Guardian: Not sure I follow you there. I think that, if a proprietor decided not to serve me because I was blind, I would at least want there to be some recourse for complaint. This is different than, say, someone not providing you with assistance whilst travelling because you never asked for it (not even upon arrival), or no one going through a menu at a restaurant because you didn't ask them (for all they know, you may have enough vision to read the menu). I know I frequently have to remind waitstaff to give me the total on a guest check, and I don't imagine it's out of any insensitivity on their part—it's more that, if you're in customer service, you get into a routine—give the customer the check, swing back around and collect payment. For the record, I've tested this on my own, with sighted people, with blind people, and with a mix. The results prove that vision isn't a dependent variable for this.
Poster 37/38.
Yes, you are miss understanding me.
I used these post to ask a question.
We are not like others in that we require someone to help us out sometime. One poster said what was wrong with not excepting help, so I used the restaurant situation as examples.
If you like read back and you’ll understand.
Now, as far as the Airlines go, if you get again I was stating the reason why they put blind persons on the airplane first, or keep a close watch on us. Yes, a disabled person can sue if they get lost because of the airline’s employee neglect, so they make sure they don’t lose you.
Again read back if you like and want to understand, but for now you are missing my point.
OK, I think we're more on the same page now vis à vis the airlines. You said previously:
It wouldn't surprise me if someone tried to do that though. People are sue happy these days. It reminds me of the story I heard about this lady who went in to a Wall Mart or some store of the sort, went down the aisle where milk was, took some out and purposely spilled it, and pretended to fall and get injured so she could sue the store.
Well, if a person is plainly blind the airlines going to see that, but some parshally sighted people can get by sort of. I was only addressing the issue of why they put blind people on the plane first. It is not a curtisy, it is a protection and legal matter.
Really? I wasn't aware that it was a legal matter.